We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Barsexuality is the new black.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
