you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
