She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
