Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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