You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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