So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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