Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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