um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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