Having a random hookup so left but love u
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i will never coherently bang her
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
