would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
