So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
