4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
