I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
