Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
