Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
