You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
