About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
