Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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