We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
