at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
