If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
