i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
