I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦ðŸ»â€â™€ï¸ðŸ¤¦ðŸ»â€â™€ï¸ðŸ¤¦ðŸ»â€â™€ï¸. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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