used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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