it wasn't lemon gatorade
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
