sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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