i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
