I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
