So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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