normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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