once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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