and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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