4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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