i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
