A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
We are two peas in an std pod
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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