why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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