It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
