can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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