another moral hangover. fuck.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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