I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
And my parents said I crawled through the house
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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