So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
