You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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