Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
