what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
