her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
