I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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