Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Drake has all the answers
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
