so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
