Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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