You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
