your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I think I just sharted jello shots
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
