the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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