What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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