i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
