I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize