Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Two words: blizzard sex
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
