sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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