The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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