Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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