How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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