white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
