You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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